Fun Little Write-up

Check out www.windwaterwords.blogspot.com, the Soapstone Writers Retreat site. I'm Saturday's featured writer.

SO, HOW WAS SOAPSTONE???

Writing's coming hard these days for all kinds of reasons, so I'm conveniently attaching this email I sent to a few friends who asked about my Soapstone experience. It's been a month and I'm starting to process it some.

For some of you, this may be info you have no interest in, so just skip it. Some of you might be curious, so read on if you feel like it.

Here it is:

I have to say the experience was very strange. (Remember how you felt like the Squaw Valley Writer's Workshop 'broke you' for a while, Jessica? I'm feeling that way now about Soapstone, but for slightly different reasons.)

I honestly wrote very little while there, which I found frustrating -- all but 2 (?) 3 days (?) were spent kind of paralyzed. (I did revise and sell the Perspectives piece, and worked with momsrising, CDF, etc., but still...!)

Here's my Lame-o list:

• I was processing my grandfather's death (I said goodbye to him the weekend before; he died the night I got there). Wrapped up in that were images of my father's death 15 years ago. So I felt very unfocused on my story or essays -- and felt like a little of the fun of the experience had shifted. I couldn't have foretold it, either, but processing a loss only made those warm, life-affirming hugs from my kids feel so far away.
  
• Mick also felt far -- he was very encouraging to me (in fact, he talked me through some blocks), but he had/has a lot of his own stress going with dental school finishing up right now -- and it's time to start working on applications, and thinking about practice, moving, new schools, change, etc. (Why didn't I just cancel amid this? I couldn't come up with another date I could do this during 2008, so I took what I could get. I knew I'd regret canceling, and I didn't want to live with that.)
• Oh! And it was way cold! Snowing, freezing, storming, etc.! I'm from the PNW, but I think I've gone a little soft. :) I could see my breath in my cabin for two hours each morning as I stoked the wood stove, and walks along the logging route were a bit windy and nippy! (I did get to the coast -- note photo of "Goonies" rock -- on one of the milder days.)
• My housemate was nice but VERY vocal about her own daily (hourly?) writing magic that she felt deep in her bones. She gave me unsolicited updates on word counts, etc. (silent scream).
  
• I think somewhere in there the writing process slid from fun and playful to strenuous and serious. I've never written well under those circumstances. (Term papers and my thesis come to mind.)
  

Don't I sound like a wimp? See why I haven't said much???

Here's the thing, though. I DO think I learned some valuable lessons that stemmed from identifying what's playful and too serious in my writing process, and how when inspiration hits it's divine, and how the pieces of the puzzle sometimes end up fitting together in ways we can't foresee. It was good for me to suffer for a while to learn this about myself and the writing process -- and to perhaps be more generous or patient with myself/it than I've ever thought to be. (Being patient is REALLY hard for me.)

I'm sure I've neglected many details; and I encourage anyone who's so inclined to apply if 2 weeks alone in a cabin on a creek sounds fabulous. I'll give more scoop on that if you're curious. Who knows? I might apply somewhere sometime again soon -- I'm willing to open myself up to new and bizarre lessons.

I'll attach some pictures that might portray a little more 'magic' than my report offers. :) I hope I don't sound too lame. It really was a good experience, but for different reasons than I would've anticipated. (Which reminds me why I usually try to live by that old motto about low expectations...)

-anj

My cabin, the one with the cube on top; my housemate's

cabin is right next to it, with the pointed roof.

Above: in a dusting of snow. Even on days without snow,
the weather was still usually below freezing.

Above: Haystack Rock of Goonies fame.

Above: between our cabins, the hot tub. I used it twice.

At the woodshed.

One last detail: the kids were wonderfully taken care of by Jan. Two weeks was a long time for them to be apart from me, though (and me from them). I really felt how deeply we missed each other around day ten. I know we all would've been fine if I'd packed it up then. Even if I'd been creatively juiced up, I could tell they felt it was just really long.

Dane, I found this picture of you from when you were in Kindergarten. It makes me smile. I wish you weren't sick right now, and I wish I were there to cuddle with you and take care of you and play Fusion Frenzy. I miss you.

I also miss you, Aubrey -- and I can see you behind Dane in this picture! I can't wait to see you and cuddle and play Polly Pockets with you, too. I had fun talking on the phone with you for SO LONG.

Just a few more days, darlins.

LoveLove,
Mom

SOAPSTONE TOMORROW!

My flight arrived in SF from Sea-Tac this morning at 8:30; I went straight to work at 10; I've spent the afternoon packing and playing tennis with the family (the kids got new rackets from Santa!).

I leave for Oakland at 5:30 tomorrow morning to fly to Portland at 9, and then on to Soapstone from Portland. DON'S BROTHER AND SISTER-IN-LAW, DEN AND SUSAN, ARE LOANING ME THEIR VAN! Not only that, but they're meeting me at the airport. I am SO grateful.

I'm also grateful that Grammy Jan accepted our ticket south to help out around here for the two weeks that I'm gone. That'll help Mick stay focused on school -- and allow me to spend two weeks away knowing the kids are having a happy/safe time.

Check out Soapstone at www.soapstone.org, if you haven't already and you're curious.

Check out www.ellennotbohm.com to see my housemate. She's published books on autism and is currently working on a novel. We've corresponded via email; she sounds terrific.

CLASSIFIED AD

WANTED: Wheels for Soapstone.

That's right, if you or anyone you know has an extra car in the Portland area LET ME KNOW! I need a vehicle for my two week residency at Soapstone January 15-30. I know it's a long shot, but I thought I'd start here before forking over the big bucks for a rental...

ACCEPTED!

I got a letter in the mail today notifying me of acceptance to the Soapstone Writer's Retreat, with a 2-week residency.

My residency will be January 15-29; I'll work on 'Blue,' the novel I've been writing since Spring.

Check out www.soapstone.org. I get the Wind Room!

Snowballs in Summer?

Yes, that's possible when you're talking about the Snowball Effect. Piles and piles of potential blogs and pictures are gaining on me. I don't even know where to start now.

Just to check a little something off my list, though, I'll give a snappy update on life here:

*The kids are in Splash Camp every day for the next 2 weeks, with swim lessons and water play, M-F, 9 to 4
*I teach pre-schoolers at Splash Camp (circle time, arts & crafts) from 9 to noon
*Because I teach there, my kids attend for free -- that provides endless amounts of satisfaction and happiness
*At noon I come home and work on my application for Soapstone Writer's Retreat that's due to be postmarked August 1st
*Soapstone is a $3/day 2-week retreat -- I want to go there in '08. It's very competitive, but it looks amazing. (Check out soapstone.org.)
*At 4 I pick the kids up, and if it's anything like yesterday, they'll be wiped out. Ready to lounge around for a couple hours.

Things I know I still want to blog about:
1) The kids' trip to WA and their extended visit with grandparents/cousins
2) Our week home alone without them
3) The kids' flight home (yay!)
4) Our impressions of possible future living areas
5) The kids' other weeks at camp
6) Our fun Friday night one-on-ones with the kids
7) The kids' new art scrapbook albums

See how big that snowball's getting? I'll see what I can do...