The Christmas Chronicles, 2009 - Part I

I can't believe I didn't blog about Christmas -- at all.

And this blog is supposed to be the family album; it's the family scrapbook! What kind of mother misses Christmas???

It must have been that we had such fun just being in the spirit of the season, and entertaining house guests (a future blog post), that I just didn't hop on the computer much.

So let The Christmas Chronicles 2009 Part I simply be this:

WE LOVED GOING TO THE NUTCRACKER.

Dana, Jan (Grammy), and I took the girls. First, we went for the traditional pre-Nutcracker meal at Red Robin and then we headed to the Ginger Rogers Craterian Theater for some Nutcracker. I think the guys all stayed at Kai's and put together the Wii, but we don't have photo dox of that... so we'll just stick to The Nutcracker.

At Red Robin:

At the Craterian:

And going home happy:

See ya next year.

Valentine's Day is About Love
(a pasted note from Bright Horizons)

Just when it seems like the commercial excess of winter holidays is winding down, along comes Valentine’s Day and the advertising barrage of “spend for love.” It’s tempting to fall into the “give them all we can” trap to provide the most and the best stuff possible for our children (and the adults we love).

But Valentine’s Day is supposed to be all about love. Sometimes, between the giant, silver foil candies and the heart-shaped sugar cookies, simple love gets shoved into the shadows. With hectic schedules, we sometimes forget to create moments, not purchase things, for our children, and we just need a little reminder. Valentine's Day is a good place to start.

Cherished childhood moments are not made of expensive gifts or fancy parties, but of simple acts of snuggling, conversations, unhurried time spent together, and traditions repeated and passed down through the generations. Rather than buy something, make something — time and memories most of all.

Here are a few simple ways to show your child your love throughout the year:

Express “I love you” in words and notes. We are so busy showing our children that we love them, making money to provide for them, taking them places, and giving them things, that we sometimes just forget to say, “I love you.” Children often feel that they are only loved when they are good or when we are praising them.

Be with your child. Are we just rushing from place to place and chore to chore? Even though it’s difficult, turn off the radio, put down the cell phone, and be with your child, not just around him.

Make something with your child — for Valentine's Day and any other day. It doesn’t have to be a Martha Stewart moment. Keep it simple: make a heart, a note, a meal, a poem.

“Let go” of your guilt. Being a parent can be overwhelming at times. We often question whether what we are doing is right and if we are giving our children the love, attention, and discipline they need to be successful in school and life. There is no right way to be a good parent. Allow for your own mistakes and “let go” of the guilt.

Celebrate your child’s best efforts and successes. When our children were infants, they would look up searching for our smiles when they pulled up, made a toy squeak, or clapped their hands. Their every move was a triumph. With older children, we can still praise good grades, good manners, and more important, controlling anger, helping a friend, and playing soccer well, even if our child is not the best one on the team.

Model and teach your child about love, friendship, kindness, and inclusion. Valentine’s Day is a day that children learn about and express values. Whom to acknowledge? Selective card giving or acknowledging each member of a class or group? Expensive cards? Personal notes? Your child may need your help swimming through the currents of commercial excess and social acceptance.

Dream with your child. Remember as a child lying on your back and looking at the sky, naming the shapes of clouds floating by and thinking about life — just daydreaming. Simple thoughts and conversations can spark the imagination, plant a seed of curiosity, or begin a dream. Every job well done, every great act of generosity began with a thought, a dream. Hang out and dream with your child.

Watch your child sleep. Before you go to bed each night, spend a few minutes watching your sleeping child. Breathe in the calmness and know it’s all worth it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

WE'VE BEEN

INVITED TO A

MARTIN
LUTHER
KING, JR.

POTLUCK!

Yes, yet another reason to love Ashland. What a great idea, an MLK potluck celebration. And our host isn't even from here -- she's a recent transplant from New Orleans. How cool is that?

Marigny (pronounced MARE-IN-KNEE), Aubrey's friend Nora's mom, is having a shin-dig in honor of the late great doctor on Friday.

I've decided I'm bringing a sweet Southern Pecan Pie, which I just learned was his favorite dessert. I've never made a pecan pie before, but, for The Doctor, I'll try.

In our three years living in Marin City, filled with the largest population of African Americans in Marin County, I never attended a potluck in MLK's honor. I wish I had. It probably would've opened my eyes to yet another layer of understanding regarding racial issues -- although I believe my friendships from my time there provide quite a bit of that. (Seeing the Tuskegee Airmen parade through our little community was unforgettable, too.)

So...
You know what we're doing down here in Ashland to celebrate the life of a man who had a dream, why don't you let me leave you with a thought:

If you don't have dinner plans on Friday, why don't you join us by gathering some friends around your house and hosting a potluck in honor of a great man who had a vision for equality for all people?

If you do, let me know how it goes. You know I'll be eating a bowl of chicken gumbo from my "New" Orleans friend - and some kickin' good pecan pie.

Ten Steps To A Meaningful Veterans Day

1. Talk about why there's no school. Talk about what it means to be a "veteran" and how the holiday is meant to honor the life of any person who's ever worn a military uniform, standing up for the freedoms we have in this country.

2. Talk about who the family knows that's ever worn a military uniform. If the kids have no clue, that's a jumping off point for learning and a sense of wonder. My kids learned their Poppa and their Grandad (as well as my Dad and their great-grandfathers) served in the military. There are many others we didn't identify -- those people can be added to the mental list throughout the year.

3. Have your kids call the veterans they know to wish them Happy Veterans Day. Encourage them to ask questions. My kids called Grandad and learned he'd served 20 years in the Air Force and National Guard, and that he'd served abroad in Korea and Germany, to name a couple places. They learned Poppa served in Europe, where the Army sent him to film projector school. Note: the tones of their conversations might be different -- this is also wonderful and fun.

4. Print up coloring pages from the web for the kids to color. We printed up a soldier in combat gear, a cat in a uniform, a Special Forces character, and a woman reading a list of missing soldiers at a wall. These pages inspired artistic outlet (they loved creating their own camouflage, guessing what color a stripe or badge should be, and making the cat look like a fox); they also inspired thoughtful conversation -- especially the woman at the missing soldiers list.

5. Buy two bouquets the day before Veterans Day and plan to take the kids to the cemetery to lay flowers at soldiers' graves. With a flower or two per grave, you should be able to honor at least twenty or thirty soldiers.

6. Prep the kids with a list of how they might identify a soldier's gravestone. My kids each carried a post-it that read:

Lt. = Leutenant
Col. = Colonel
Gen. = General
Pvt. = Private
Maj. = Major
Sgt. = Sergeant

Note: you may feel you don't know enough. That's okay. My list worked fine, but I was able to identify that I have no idea how the ranking system works -- that's something to research or ask a veteran -- and I left many options out. (Corporal comes to mind.) I probably could've written the different military branches, too.

7. Hit the cemetery on Veterans Day. We walked, carrying the bouquets and umbrellas, wearing rainboots and raincoats.


8. Walk through the graveyard together at first, and then separately, if desired. Our first soldier had an easy give-away on his stone: World War I. There were many WWI and WWII veteran headstones -- something we hadn't anticipated, but now makes sense.

9. Invite family or friends to join you. We invited the cousins and the kids all worked to find places to lay their flowers. It was really sweet.


10. Brainstorm about how you might honor soldiers next year. For instance, I realized it would've been nice to honor living veterans next year -- say, at a VA hospital or Soldiers Home -- and the kids thought we should do something with flags.