Mid-Late October:
A Visit from Mom/Mema/Sharen/Big Share

While we're in the process of figuring out how to get our picture program Picasa2 up and running again, I'll write up some notes on the last few weeks. Needless to say, much has happened that deserves attention (and photos) but for now, I'll start with my mom's visit. Other topics/entries soon.

A week after Jan left, my mom flew down for her own luxurious week on the living room hide-a-bed. Without missing a beat after her Friday midnight arrival, we headed out Saturday morning to the San Francisco Zoo for Pacific's Annual Fall party. There, we ate from a gigantic buffet in a gigantic tent in the middle of the zoo grounds; for the next four hours then we observed tigers, flamingos, anteaters, lemurs, snakes, bears, rhinos, penguins, hippos, meerkats, prairie dogs (this is a zoo worth returning to again and again)--every animal we could want to lay eyes on. Several weeks earlier, Dane and Aubrey had circled their main animals of interest, basically any exhibit with a picture, on the zoo map, which made the exploration really fun; we also rode the old train for a few loops through the zoo, amazed by the agility and boldness of fully-plumed peacocks (miraculously enough) constantly crossing the tracks.

That was the biggest physical event of the week for us and we tried to taper the activities a bit after that. The rest of Mom's visit involved a few hours of pre-school, soccer class, ballet class, a trip to Mick's school one evening for Dane's birthday (more on that later), Dane's birthday party (again, more later), playing baseball, and reading. There was also a fair dose of kitchen organization that Mom just couldn't keep herself away from.

In spite of Mom's penchant for cleaning--she told me she was up until midnight re-organizing my cupboards one night while Mick studied--we had to cut down on some of the physical activity we would have normally done (i.e. long brisk walks, bike riding, leg-wrestling) because the day before Mom flew here she had been diagnosed with a 1-inch non-cancerous tumor at the base of her neck along her spine. At that time, the doctors ruled out invasive surgery, wanted to monitor the rate of its growth, and were ready to discuss Gamma Knife radiation treatment when she returned from Sausalito.

Since then, though, another more urgent ailment has surfaced: CT scans and an MRI have revealed that she also has a fractured neck, possibly the result of a car accident in the last few years, or perhaps even the result of some sort of other accident or damage done years and years ago. Its origin is unknown. Mom and Don are in the process of seeking a second opinion, but it is clear Mom will have to have surgery soon (she's wearing a neck brace now) where doctors will likely put screws, rods, etc., in the back of her neck.

Right now, there's a lot of waiting, a lot of surgery-planning. However, given the kind of practical person my mom is, it seems that wringing hands and fretting is at the bottom of her list, and I tend to take my cue from her. By the same token, I'm also trying to ask the right questions, keep up on the doctors' names and jobs, and check in with her on her physical and emotional states (Don's too). It became clearer to me that I needed to do this when my friend Shari asked me if it was hard to take my mom to the airport when she left. I replied, "Not really. The traffic was pretty brutal at first, but then it tapered off and we got there in no time." When Shari said, "I see... But was it hard to say goodbye to her?" I realized I could be a little softer round the edges and that I had to be sure not to be cavalier about all this.

I'll be sure to include any developments in future blog entries.